Destabilize? Moi?

The Guardian published a commentary yesterday by Russia’s Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov accusing the West of “needlessly whipping up tension” in Ukraine, which “still faces complex tasks in constructing a sovereign state.”  A sly understater of reality, that Sergei!

Meanwhile two Russian ambassadors (currently serving in southern Africa) were recorded drunkenly bragging that “in the future we’ll damn well take your Catalonia and Venice, and also Scotland and Alaska.”  Ambassadors Chubarov and Bakharev observe that it would be better to leave Romania, Bulgaria, and the Baltic countries alone for now, and focus on “Miamiland” and “Londonland.”  “Exactly, Miamiland is f–ing 95% Russian citizens.  We have a full right to hold a referendum.”

They certainly have the talking points down, even–or especially–while inebriated.  Meanwhile Lavrov is given the more tedious task of soberly explaining to Englishmen and Germans why they should feel nervous, guilty, and neutral between east and west while Russia dismembers–oops–brings the eastern half of Ukraine into its fraternal embrace.


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