Cardinal Timothy Dolan, If You Go Shopping For Birth Control Pills At 7-11, The Sour Gummi Bears Don’t Work So Well

And neither do the 7-Select TM Sour Neon Gummi Worms.  Don’t ask me how I know this, please, I am not confessing diddly squat today, as it were.

So Cardinal Dolan went on Face the Nation Sunday and said that if you want contraceptives, “my Lord, all you have to do is walk into a 7-11 or any shop on any street in America and have access to them.”  I can only imagine how many little Cardinal Dolan juniors are walking down those streets of America today, not having the foggiest idea that they may owe their existence to the good Cardinal’s ignorance about the actual product selection at 7-11, not to mention the unseemly reality of off-label usage of juju candy and M&M’s.

For the record, Cardinal (hat tip to Mother Jones), 7-11 does not carry any Plan B One Step, the one emergency contraceptive available without prescription.  And for regular birth control products, you need a prescription, you cannot just walk into 7-11 or your corner store.  Unless you’re doing something sub rosa–but you are a Cardinal, so that would be out of the question.  And the Hobby Lobby people that you were imagining you were defending–their employee health care plan already does include several kinds of birth control, just not the morning-after pill.

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