Christ And Caesar Issue Joint Statement: Supreme Court Is Just A Bunch Of Idolatrous Middle-Schoolers

Jesus Christ and Julius Caesar, in an unusual joint statement issued yesterday after the U.S. Supreme Court’s 5-4 Town of Greece v. Galloway decision, that the justices had completely misunderstood them.  Christ was particularly offended by the Court’s implication that he would be honored by state-sponsored prayer.  Caesar ridiculed the court’s abandonment of Sandra Day O’Connor’s “endorsement” test, noting that “coercion” is always already present in official governmental prayers, regardless of what Justice Anthony Kennedy says.  Christ and Caesar agreed that the distinction Kennedy maintained between prayers (inadmissible) aimed at schoolchildren and prayers (innocent until proven guilty, he implied) aimed at grownups was laughable.  As Jesus and Julius observed, “none of you people have really ever gotten over middle school yet, so get real about ‘coercion.'”

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