Is Next Week’s Powerball So Big That Even Bernie Sanders Will Play?

Senator Bernie Sanders admitted today that next week’s estimated 1.3 billion dollar Powerball jackpot is “all I can think about” and that he is planning to buy “a couple” of tickets for next Wednesday’s drawing.

My advice to Mr. Sanders: don’t lose focus, Bernie. Just buy one quick pick and “let it go.” You recently acknowledged that growing up in a Brooklyn tenement, a fish once came up into the toilet bowl. You claim that you did not cook the fish. That’s good, because that’s thinking like the dignified billionayuh you knew you would become in 2016. Billionayuhs do not cook toilet fish. Good luck, sir.  If anyone is destined to win the powerball that than which no greater powerball can be conceived, it is you.

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