If there is a one percent chance that Donald Trump is a monkey, he should withdraw immediately. Can anyone deny that Sarah Palin is our greatest tea wallah? And that monkeys have been plucking tea leaves for centuries? Of course I am not saying that Donald Trump is really a monkey. But this is the presidency. You can’t take a chance. You cannot risk that Palin, quite possibly out of fondness for the expertise of monkey tea pluckers she has known, has unwittingly played into the hands, or digits, of an orange-tinged primate. Not good. Even if monkeys can take selfies, they are not eligible to run for President.