Regression To The Trump Resumes

Give up, Megyn Kelly! Forget about it, false-equivalence fetishists!  Trump is gonna regress to his very own mean, no matter how many times you tell him to stop talking smack about women and stay within the bounds of normal political behavior. This morning, between 5:14 and 5:30, Trump seems to have found his own bottom–and then topped himself, as it were, by complaining that “some people say…many people say” is unfair and wrong! Ya don’t say.

So much so that “regression to the Trump” could become a new scientific term, sorta kinda like “regression to the mean” but sloppier and meaner.

Advertisements

“Gary Johnson’s White House Bid Suffers Setback”? Au Contraire, Financial Times

I used to think that reading the Financial Times would help me “seek alpha,” and become even more hugely, fabulously rich. No more. Their headline today evinces (a favorite word of theirs) not a whit of comprehension of their American cousins’ presidential contest. Gary Johnson’s voters are asserting their moral supremacy over and against the system that has emitted Hillary Clinton and disgorged Donald Trump. Whether Gary Johnson thinks Obi-Wan Kenobi is his favorite foreign leader (as The New Yorker sniffed–BTW their sniff is unlike TrumpSniff) or not is of no consequence whatever. The Mexican army could invade New Mexico–with the help of drones made in China, of course–and neither Gary Johnson nor many of his voters would even notice, stoned to the gills as ever.

Millennials and burned-out boomers who are looking to Johnson and vaccine-denier-Stein may be disheartened by what they perceive as the low bar in our politics, but they may as well acknowledge that voting defensively for a lesser-evil candidate is the best and only real option this time. Maybe next time will be more fabulous? In the meantime, don’t forget to learn about and vote for down-ballot candidates so that next time may actually become more fabulous.

Mexican Peso Has Stamina And Excellent Temperament Today

Whyever did the Mexican peso go up during and after last night’s Clinton-Trump debate? Trump sniffled but the peso was robust and happy. As the Wall Street Journal reported this morning, “Peso’s With Her.”

We are all the Mexican peso today! (“We are all Keynesians” is so 1970s) The Mexican peso has stamina and an excellent temperament, it seems.

P.S. Mexican coke may no longer be hip, though, now that can be associated with Trump Sniff.

Staying Woke This November Means Holding Your Damned Nose, Not Setting Your Own Rump On Fire

Some election seasons, staying woke does not include utopian dreams. This is one of those years.

Staying woke sometimes means playing defense and voting against a nightmare candidate. Staying woke sometimes means voting for the lesser (this year, much lesser) evil. And then following up to make the best of the situation next winter and spring. It sometimes means not being hypnotized by the mainstream media’s hardcore addiction to false equivalence that is designed to narcotize you.

Charles Blow laid it all out in his op-ed on “The Folly of the Protest Vote” today. In sum–don’t mix up casting a ballot with endorsing a candidate’s shortcomings. Don’t pretend somebody other than Clinton or Trump will be President next year. Don’t forget that federal courts are “where police tactics are challenged and where precedent is set.” Don’t march for Eric Garner or Trayvon Martin or Sandra Bland or Tamir Rice and yet do nothing to keep Trump from picking the next attorney general. Don’t let the man who attacked the Flint pastor who interrupted him pick the next head of the Environmental Protection Agency.

For young people this year, a protest vote does not make you a better person than any of the impure candidates. It just makes you somebody who just set his or her own rump on fire.

Political Herd Immunity For Millennials

Yet another worry lately for folks sickened by Trump and either pro-Hillary or hold-nose-and-vote Hillary is the possibility that millennials will insult the legacy of Barack Obama and vote for Johnson or Stein. The upside of this is asserting one’s moral purity. The downside is President Trump. Rallying behind the Libertarians or the Greens gives the feeling of political herd immunity–but not the reality. The real vaccine is to take your castor oil and vote for the least destructive option. Too young to vote for the lesser evil, you say? You need to be inspired, you say? Breaking news courtesy of President Obama: don’t boo, vote! Hillary, trust me, will subsidize your adult coloring books next year.

The Best Way To Hold Your Nose On Election Day

The best way to hold your nose on Election Day, November 8–or earlier, if you vote early–is the usual, everyday method: just hold your nose and vote.

The worst way to hold your nose this election season is like the kid locked in the outhouse in Slumdog Millionaire did it, but much worse: you hold your nose, then you jump into a giant toxic waste dump of radioactive slime, and you vote for Donald J. Trump.  No doubt, Hillary shouldn’t have used fancy Latin words like “deplorable” to talk about Trump or his supporters. Plenty of Trump supporters have very real frustrations. And “deplorable” barely begins to express how sickening Trump himself is.

“Undecided” Suburban Whites Cry Tears Of Joy That Trump Is Officially No Longer Racist “Birther”…oops, oops, there he goes again!

Purportedly undecided suburban white registered voters were able to cry unashamed tears of joy for a brief while today that they could now officially vote for an officially nonracist Trump, after Trump officially ended all race-based doubts about President Barack Obama’s birthplace by making it crystal clear that Obama was in fact a natural-born American citizen. Trump’s false claim that Hillary started it and that “I know you are but what am I?” do not count as racist lies for the simple reason that Hillary Clinton is a white woman. Trump’s boastful claim that he, High Sheriff Donald J. Trump, “ended it” is also not a racist lie because we are all obligated to move on now to making America strong and great again. Any quibblers? … oopsie, hold up, he seems to have lost his teleprompter script again… A retired “birther” lieutenant general introducing him (wink) today?  And now Hillary was the founder of birtherism?  Really?  And, again, her Secret Service detail should let her and themselves get shot at?

Suicide By Politician?

Hat tip to Gaye Brown of Portland, Maine (NYT letter today) for the title. Yes, Hillary Clinton has real and serious flaws–but we voters often have to choose the lesser evil, just as we do in daily decisionmaking. Nothing to complain about.

But just in case we do, heaven forbid, commit national suicide by politician, here’s my investment tip: go long on the Russian ruble and your November 9 may well be a little less deplorable. See today’s Newsweek story by Kurt Eichenwald on Trump’s foreign business entanglements. How many millions does Trump personally owe Putin? Who knows?

Crippled Brain-Damaged Habitual Liar–Or Hillary. Take Your Pick!

If I told you I had “instructed my long-time doctor to issue, within two weeks, a full medical report–it will show perfection,” you might take me for a brain-damaged habitual liar. But I was quoting, of course, from a December 3, 2015 Trump tweet. Do you know any 70-year-old taco-bowl-loving men who exhibit “perfection”?

And David Axelrod is surely right to wonder that while “antibiotics can take care of (bacterial) pneumonia, what’s the cure for an unhealthy penchant for privacy that repeatedly creates unnecessary problems?”

We’ll soon see in the debates who seems most fit to be president. Iff Hillary (or her body double!) manages to be more cautious and sensible than Trump yet less overcautious than her usual public self, she’ll be good to go.