Translation Of The President’s Remarks On Roy Moore And 40 Years Has Been A Long Time And Women Are Very Special

We don’t need people who are soft on crime in Washington, unless it was supposedly child abuse or rape, which I deny happened, also Roy Moore total denial 40 years ago and they were my voters anyway, I could grab them right now and they would still vote for me so women you totally have my permission to vote for Roy because women are very special but get real not as special as a big fat tax cut which the fake news says is for me total lie, plus Judge Moore not soft on borders either, unless you’re talking about the border between total moral depravity and decency, that’s a tough one, there are many pitfalls in life, it was 40 years ago and so I hereby grant official pardons to all my Trump voters especially those who trust me so much they forget all about their purity vows when they were 15 and vote for abusive Godly men who shoot people and grab people and totally deny everything, I just spoke with Mr. Putin, very strongly, not soft, no puppet no puppet, I totally deny, great Thanksgiving everybody.

Editor’s Note: President Trump said before last November’s election that his only chance to get into heaven was to get elected president.  How’s that going for you?  Also, “soft on crime” has nothing to do with “soft on KKK members who kill little black girls in church in Birmingham,” totally different rules there.  And speaking of different rules, wake up MSM who say “we really didn’t see this coming today” (Trump’s permission structure for Roy Moore voters, that is)–who could possibly predict that our president would ever look leniently and permissively on a guy who wanted segregation legally enshrined in the Alabama state constitution in the 21st century and whose extreme patriarchal Dominionist Christianism outflanks Trump on the crazy–actually, I am shocked that our Trump didn’t slap Roy down by making clear that he alone gets dibs on all the 14-year-olds.

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