New Presidential Clarification: I Meant To Say Karma Is Not, Repeat Not, A Bitch

Responding to the revelation that (hallelujah) there is a tape (how many?) of Mr. Trump talking hush hush with Cohen, Donald J. Trump has announced that all these years he has really been saying “karma is not a bitch.”  And we were mistaken, Trump added, to think that when he said “lock her up, lock her up” that he meant those words to be taken literally or seriously.  In related news, Vladimir Putin denied that he was not thinking about flipping his support to the Democrats for the midterms.


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