Trump’s Revenge On Macron: He’s Going To Fix The French Language Once And For All

The Times (of London, not the times-come-lately in NYC) says today in a headline that “Trump will visit the UK in July.” The second sentence of the story hedges a bit: “the Us president is thought to be planning” to go to London after meetings in Brussels on July 11-12.

I hate to tell the British that they are kidding themselves, but let me put it this way: President Trump does not plan, at least not in such a way that lesser beings can fathom his actions in advance.  That being said, I have some inside information.  Trump will in fact travel from Brussels to Paris for his second Bastille Day military parade.  After that he will, without doubt, make a special appearance at the Academie Francaise to lecture the 40 Immortals on “My Clear And Very Distinct Ideas.”  He will finally fulfill, in fact, after almost 499 years, the original mission of the Academie, which was founded by Cardinal Richelieu in 1635.  In the United States, President Trump has accomplished so very many things that no president before him even attempted.  And in Paris, at the French Academy, Trump will finally “fix the French language, giving it rules, making it pure and comprehensible for all.”  Warm-up act for Mr. Trump will be noted philosopher and linguist Kanye West, speaking on “Proper Terminology and Neology.”

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Trump Seduced By Youthful Frenchman

Off to gay Paree for Bastille Day, that’s our Trump!  Seduced by that firm shaker of hands Macron, eh?  No shame in leaving the swamp behind for the salons of the City of Light, Mr. President.  You claimed you were the leader of the Country Party, and that you would stomp all over the swamp-dwelling Court Partiers.  But so far it has not worked out so well, has it?  Bon voyage, and please, don’t hurry back, enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells at a really, really leisurely pace.  Go to Versailles, where they actually knew how to set up a royal court and do absolutism properly.  Believe me, you’ll be sorry when you come back.