Caesar J. Trump: Only I Can Inform You That “Freedom Is A Gift From God”

Our president has signed an executive order, fatuous and largely redundant (because current law already protects what Trump asserts needs new protection), claiming to support religious liberty.  Setting aside the obvious absurdity of such an unrepentant heathen dilating on this topic–whoa, whoa, God can make use of even the worst abusers, OK, and I should know (please sit back down, Mr. President)….

Freedom, to be sure, is not a gift from government; at least if by freedom we are speaking of spiritual freedom.  And, furthermore, ordained and other religiously motivated persons may well have much of value to say about politics and even about school bond issues and tax assessors.  Speaking of whom, however, if churches want to keep the assessor away from their door, and maintain their status as tax-exempt entities, they should think several times before expecting political dominion to come cheap.  To their souls, if not their tax-averse selves.


Christ And Caesar Issue Joint Statement: Supreme Court Is Just A Bunch Of Idolatrous Middle-Schoolers

Jesus Christ and Julius Caesar, in an unusual joint statement issued yesterday after the U.S. Supreme Court’s 5-4 Town of Greece v. Galloway decision, that the justices had completely misunderstood them.  Christ was particularly offended by the Court’s implication that he would be honored by state-sponsored prayer.  Caesar ridiculed the court’s abandonment of Sandra Day O’Connor’s “endorsement” test, noting that “coercion” is always already present in official governmental prayers, regardless of what Justice Anthony Kennedy says.  Christ and Caesar agreed that the distinction Kennedy maintained between prayers (inadmissible) aimed at schoolchildren and prayers (innocent until proven guilty, he implied) aimed at grownups was laughable.  As Jesus and Julius observed, “none of you people have really ever gotten over middle school yet, so get real about ‘coercion.'”