Take The Ribbon From Your Hair, President Trump

Didn’t you promise you were going to help us make it through the night, Mr. President Trump?

“I am going to take care of everybody.”

“There will be no cuts to Social Security, Medicare & Medicaid.  Huckabee copied me.”

“Everybody’s going to be taken care of much better than they’re taken care of now.”

I don’t care who’s right or wrong, Mr. Trump.  You could even copy Huckabee and put a squirrel in your White House microwave and if you liked it a lot I would not judge you for that.  But keep your promises.  Or at least try.  Don’t complain about how complicated healthcare is.  That’s a precious snowflake excuse.  And don’t listen to Paul Ryan.  He’s a zombie moocher who lived off Social Security for two years after his daddy died when Paul was just sixteen.  He is probably still ashamed of it.  Don’t mind him, and for heaven’s sake don’t think he’s a “policy wonk.”  He doesn’t even understand insurance at all if he doesn’t realize it’s about healthy people paying for sick ones.  Because even you, Mr. Trump, are going to get old and sick and dependent and vulnerable.  So let the devil take tomorrow, Mr. Trump.

P.S. So glad your man on health care, Dr. Tom Price, said yesterday “no one will be worse off financially” when Trumpcare kicks in.  I am making a note of how much I paid in premiums in 2016 and putting it in a safe place, and you can be sure that I will not pay any more while you are president, sir.  And I know you won’t put me in debtors’ prison.  Plus I can keep thinking what I’m thinking and drinking what I’m drinking–no more no less so I won’t be any worse off.  Feeling pretty good now.  Would hate to see you mess up my good feeling.

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Scalia Previews Court Term: “Pigs Running Off Cliffs”

As the Supreme Court, shutdown or not, begins its new term today, the remaining pragmatic precedents from the O’Connor era are likely to be narrowed if not swept away. And if you thought Citizens United gave too much leeway to big money in politics, get ready for McCutcheon, which may overrule all campaign contribution limits by individuals.

As per usual, Justice Scalia sees the big picture (from an interview with New York magazine): “the Devil is doing all sorts of things. He’s making pigs run off cliffs, he’s possessing people and whatnot.” Is our man Scalia being one-sidedly rude to his fellow right-wingers here? Certainly not, for he proceeds to attack godless liberals next: “what he (the Devil) is doing now is getting people not to believe in him or in God. He’s much more successful that way.”