Is 1000 Times No-President Overseeing No-Ship No-Armada From His No-Room?

The U.S.S. No-Ship No-Armada may be headed toward No. Korea, or not.  But our president is most definitely no-madman, he just sits on his golden chair in his no-chamber and, whenever he feels like it, wanders from no-room to no-room, presciently knowing where the no-applause is loudest.  No I have never read any science fiction, this is real news.

Out-Crazying Kim Jong-Un–What Could Go Wrong?

Trump’s apparent use of “madman theory” logic to get his way (whatever that is on any given day) on healthcare probably won’t intimidate Nancy Pelosi or Chuck Schumer.  Will Trump-as-madman succeed any better on the Korean peninsula?  Are we the people ready for an American president who can actually out-crazy Kim Jong-un?  We elected him.  We knew that no-drama-Obama was getting old.  We wanted a little excitement.  How much excitement?  That’s what China is wondering!  Their foreign minister just put our president on the same level as Kim by urging “all parties” to stop “provoking” each other. Should we blush with embarrassment?  Trump, who says he comprehends very well, listened to Xi Jinping explain thousands of years of Korean history in ten minutes (or less, believe me) and now grasps very very well how to put America first by using the craziest words and threatening to use the biggest bombs.  And why worry that Kim might be even more unpredictable than our president?  North Korea has an excellent system of checks and balances, many people say.  Their National Security Council is far more fully staffed than ours, so I hear.  Their family dynasty, as Mr. Xi no doubt explained to his U.S. counterpart, is much more experienced than ours.  So they will surely do the right thing.  Oh right, we still have to worry about Trump–oops.

Unquiet Flow The Policies Of The Don

For example, let us consider the unplanned non-obsolescence of NATO.  In the same breath, the president reminded us that he had said NATO was obsolete and informed us that NATO was no longer obsolete.  Don’t even get me started on trying to figure out where the United States as such stands on Russia, let alone Syria, China, North Korea…  I believe I grasp that the important point to remember is this: my president is the big strong man who tells me what is true and what is fake, and when he decides that there is a new, different, and probably opposite truth it is on me to avoid whiplash.

A Sure-Fire Anti-Overload Solution

According to the NYT Bits blog, North Korea has produced a perfectly lovely-looking and well-functioning tablet computer with a 2-megapixel camera, Angry Birds, and NO Internet. Perfect for those who have heard it all but tried and failed to read it all. And no need to worry that your web browsing will be scrutinized by the authorities.