Who Cares About 100 Days, Trump? Think About Burning In Hell Sooner Rather Than Later

As President Trump rightly noted, “the first 100 days” is a ridiculous standard.  Nobody with any sense could possibly expect somebody like Trump to measure up to FDR.  I don’t feel any fake urgency for Trump to notch “successes” that might blow up my world or make my health insurance unmanageable.  Stay strong, Trump, don’t let anybody gaslight you into reaching for transient “wins” that will boomerang on your sorry rump come next election day–unless you think you can suppress 24.1 million votes.  So relax, you will burn in hell soon enough, don’t rush it.  You did say that the only way you could ever possibly make it to heaven was to become president.  What exactly is your plan now?  Because you seem to have forgotten about getting into heaven.  Keep your eyes on the prize, or suffer the fate of slobbering for eternity in the lowest circle.  Maybe if you joined your good buddy Bill-O in Rome it would help you FOCUS.

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Did President Obama Speak Truth To Power In Vatican City Today?

President Obama sat across from Pope Francis “at a simple desk in the papal library” today.  One imagines that he summoned the audacity to speak truth to power, as in:

“I am deeply concerned on behalf of 60 [give or take] million American Catholics and their bishops and archbishops, Your Holiness.  Who are you to say “who am I to judge?”  You are the Pope.  If you can’t make an argumentum ad verecundiam [argument from authority], who can?

Pope Francis replied that as St. Thomas Aquinas, citing Boethius, stated authoritatively eight hundred years ago, the argument from authority is the weakest form of argument.

That seemed to settle the issue, and the rest of the meeting was spent in meditative and prayerful silence, broken only by an interjection from Francis on the history of tango and a disquisition from Obama on the chain of reasoning behind his most recent NCAA bracket.

(As Wikipedia states: “The Latin noun verecundia means ‘modesty’ or ‘shame.’  Its link to arguments from authority is that they are used to make those who lack authority feel shame about discussing issues they lack credential or expertise in, and modestly back out of an argument.”)

P.S. There is no truth to rumors that the seed chest given to the Pope by President Obama contained contraceptive pills along with the fruit and vegetable seeds from the White House garden.  There is also no truth to rumors that the copy of the papal apostolic letter “Joy of the Gospel” given to President Obama by the Pope contained a personal indulgence absolving Obama of sins both of commission against the poor (by ignoring them in the quest for middle-class votes) and of omission against the rich (the non-war, that is–contrary to Fox News, may G-d have mercy on them–against the inordinate privileges of the 1% of the 1%).

Pope Sans Parrot On Cover Of The Rolling Stone

The Pope’s new bird, Amore, called him Papa today.  If the Pope had announced in this week’s Rolling Stone that he was in love with Amore, a green parrot, who would I be to judge him or his new partner?  I would miss the peace doves, but as animal rights people said, releasing doves in St. Peter’s Square is probably not a safety first idea–domesticated doves can’t survive the vicious infighting of Vatican City or of greater Rome.  So green parrot love is OK with me.

P.S. 1/31/14 According to Time.com the parrot belongs to a porn star named Lombardi.

He’s Back! Still The Style Icon, Pope Resolves Mid-Life Crisis By Acquiring 1984 Renault

It is papal white and looks like it has a fresh paint job. But why is Francis not telling us that he switched out the totally bogus Renault engine for a turbocharged Toyota Tacoma truck engine that generates 560 horses? And 190,000 miles? Please, Mr. Popeman, you could get a perfectly good Civic shuttle car with at least half a million miles on it in perfectly fine running condition. How many hectares are in Vatican City, anyway?